Monday, 8 January 2007

Good Sunday

It has been a while since I posted anything, mainly because things have been quiet since the beginning of the year and it seems the holiday mood was the same in Libya as many fellow bloggers are not to be seen anywhere! I hope all is well with everyone. Yesterday my daughter wanted to go shopping with her mother, I am not keen on shopping especially at this time of year when the Sale is on, my son decided that he did not want to go shopping either so he stayed at home with me, he was very happy to be with me and it was just a pleasure to spend the day with him, he got to draw his first monkey with no help from me which was rather good I think.
I was feeling a bit lazy it was raining heavily outside but it was not cold, in fact this winter has been the warmest on record in the UK, day time temperature is about 12c which is very warm for this time of year and looks like there will be no snow at all this year.
After a while Amir got bored and wanted to go somewhere but I wasn't really in the mood to go out, he then taught me a small lesson. He said that he loved being with me but gets bored when his sister is not with us! I asked him why, he said that every time when its only him with me and he asks me to do something or go somewhere my answer would always be No not without your sister so he ends up not going anywhere and becomes bored. Of course he was right, I usually never take him anywhere unless his sister is going with us, I felt a bit bad and thought his sister is doing something she likes, shopping, so why should he stay at home and get bored? I asked him what he wanted to do, he said he wants to watch Happy Feet in the cinema, it was a horrible rainy day and I did not have much time to get there but we got dressed and left in the car, after a slow drive in the rain we got to the car park which is about 5 minutes walk from the cinema, as we were walking he kept telling me to hurry up or we will miss the film, we got there just in time, it was a cinema multiplex which has 8 screens, Happy Feet was showing in screen 8 which is the smallest screen, we had a problem finding good seats and he ended up sitting with his legs on the seat to give him some height and I thought charging us £8 for me & £5 for him was far too expensive for a tiny cinema like this one. The film which is about Penguins was OK, the penguins looked very realistic, the music and tap dancing was funky and the film had a good Ecological message, it is a fun film if you are 6 years old or younger!

I am glad I took him there, he was very happy and could not wait to tell his mum and sister about it and I learnt a small lesson from him about not taking him anywhere on his own, his sister had a good day too.


Safia speaks said...

It is important for a Dad to spend some "quality" time with his son, even if "quality" in question just means to be bored together or go watch a movie.

BTW, I saw Happy Feet some days ago, too, and I just loved the film. Sometimes it is very nescessary to spend a few hours back in infancy and enjoy a real good movie.
I also watched casino Royale with my son, because my daughter has reached an age where she finds going to the cinema with Mum a true embarrasment!

AngloLibyan said...

I certainly had quality time with my son yesterday and we did enjoy happy feet :o)
I have not seen Casino Royale yet, I suppose I must enjoy the kids before they grow up so soon and become embarrassed by my presence!
Thank you Safia.

cofman said...

Safia, hi, this is true isn’t it?? this here “.. because my daughter has reached an age where she finds going to the cinema with Mum a true embarrassment! ” I think this has always been true with kids generally … does anyone know WHY???

Thanks Anglo, very good piece, and - by the way – I am learning a lot from you, more than you think …
I have a question if you could explain please. I understood from this “ I usually never take him anywhere unless his sister is going with us” … Do you mean you want them to understand you are treating them equally?

Ema said...

well you can call this "Boys day in"

I find it great to get a day only for one child, since I was an only girl, i was happy when me and my dad do something special alone, I still smile when i remember it, it's not always a bad thing to be awya from the others, but it give this impression that i'm special and that we have our own secrets. my 2 brothers always get their way with dad going out and doing stuff, so i get thrilled when it's my turn.

I really liked this post...;)

Living Away said...

Hey AngloLibyan!!

Good to have you back!!!
You know, my father used to give me a lot of expensive gifts and also he spent a lot of time just playing with me or giving wonderful surprises as going to cinema, etc...
I don't remember the expensive gifts anymore! I just remember
he taking his time to spend with me.
It is priceless!!
So, congratulation dear friend! I'm so sure your son won't forget the raining day that his father took him to the cinema!!
Tell me, you had fun didn't you?


Suliman said...

Anglo: I'm guilty of following the two-in-one strategy, too. It seems I don't get enough time with either one alone. I don't think it's about ensuring equal treatment, as much as it is about efficiency of consolidating your time and effort.

maysoon said...

I think it is a warm winter every where this year ,isn't it?

It is great to spend some quality time with each child alone, each one will feel that there is a special bond between you.

God bless,

AngloLibyan said...

thank you cofman.
as for treating my children equally that is a fact but its to do more with me feeling guilty if one child had a good time with me but the other was not there to enjoy and finding the time to be with them individually, sometimes I feel my son demands a lot of attention from me because he is younger and it makes me wonder if my daughter is missing out, my next step would be to spend some time with my daughter, on occasions i have taken them swimming with a friend who liked to swim with my son and this usually gives me a priceless time alone with my daughter and she just loves it :o)

Ema, I am sure as you know very well girls are their father's princesses, both my kids have their little secrets with me which is just a little game and it is a lot of fun.

Leandra, that is exactly what I remember from my parents, all the love and attention they gave to me and my brothers this always stayed on my mind more than the gifts and the holidays and yes I had a wonderful time with Amir.

Good to see you here Suliman in your wonderful Libyan outfit, I think what you said explains it a lot and good luck with your lovely children may Allah bless them.

Yes Maysoon the weather is really changing and it is quite warm.
thank you for your good point and good luck with your lovely girl, may Allah bless her.

cofman said...

Ok, thanks Anglo, now I understand what you meant “ treating my children equally .. but its to do more with me feeling guilty ” thanks again Anglo. Very clear.

Allow me please, for a moment I want to ignore your problem ( ie but its to do more with me feeling guilty ) .. let’s call it, for now, that’s your business whether you feel guilty or not.

My question is this, Anglo:- it is very possible – and also reasonable – that your boy and girl have completely different interests to one another ( an example:- your daughter may love her mum’s fav music, and her kitchen skills, etc ), and your son may now be dreaming of the day when he becomes able to take control of the steering wheel and the accelerator of the car you drive, etc etc ) .. what I am trying to say is this: theoretically speaking, waiting for your daughter to join you and your son MAY be seen, by them, like punishment, ie the girl couldn’t stay in the kitchen with her mum, and the boy had to wait for YEARS until his sister joins
I just like to understand more about what we mean by “ equality ” .. who knows? Maybe the children are suffering because we, the parents, are seeking ‘PERFECTION’
( Nothing is personal about this comment – it is a general point, it may apply to Cofman more than anyone else )
Shukran mallioyoon marra
( Hey Anglo? I don’t mind explaining my question if I appear confused )

AngloLibyan said...

cofman, I think it is natural that girls would sometimes prefer to be with their mothers, i.e. shopping... while boys would rather be with their fathers, there is nothing wrong with that, its just my kids are young and I wanted to do things with both of them, now they are growing and becoming more indiviual so I am learning to change my ways as well so I will not feel guilty anymore because I know im doing the best for them whether they are both with me or only one. thank you for your interest.

cofman said...

Thanks a million – this topic is fantastic, thank you for starting it

Hannu said...

Hi, AL.

My kids are not keen on shopping, thankfully, even the girl! Unless it's the toy store of course! Well, they take after both of their parents. I dread shopping and only do it when I have to! I do most of the shopping online; the blessings of technology!

We have seen Happy Feet over the break. I liked it. It was very close to real and not animation; it was hard to tell which it is at times. The plan was to go to Night At The Museum, but Moody insisted on Happy Feet. I didn't want Happy Feet but eventually agreed. Whenever I laughed at the movie, Moody would ask me, "So Mom, is it better than Night At The Museum?" When we went to Night At The Museum, every time he laughed, I asked him, "So Moody, is it better than Happy Feet?" We got even!

AngloLibyan said...

hannu, my daughter has discovered the pleasures of shopping recently and now she insists on coosing her own clothes, like you I prefer online shopping.
Yes I thought happy feet was very realistic, on the way out of the cinema Amir told me that he wants to watch Night at the Museum next, I will take both to watch it soon InshaAllah.

Trabilsia said...

Yes quality time is something we as parents have to give priority to.
I'm glad you had some time alone with your son
Let me tell you of what happened to me when Tarek was about 10 years old. At the time Tarek had never been exposed to cinemas of any sort due to, well ,lack of entertainment in Tripoli. I had to go to Zurich and took him with me as it was the term holiday. One afternoon after I'd finished attending the conference earlier than usual, we decided to go to the cinema , at the time Asterisk and Batman were on show As we entered the cinema which had screens for wallpaper Tarek remained breathless , going round the screens ,eating his popcorn , chocolate bars, sipping his cola simply stuffing himself with junk food as this too was something he had missed out on .While we waited for the show to start since we had shown up too early, my son suddenly comes to me stating I just love the cinema when can we come again ! !!

AngloLibyan said...

Thank you Trabilsia for sharing Tarek's first cinema experience, sounds like he really loved it :o)

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