Monday, 24 September 2007

Fight Night

Saturday I took the kids to the Libyan community Iftar which usually takes place every Tuesday and Saturday during Ramadan, while I don't actually like eating Iftar outside my home, I usually make an exception on Saturdays for the sake of the kids as they get to see some of their old school mates and it is nice to see them all happy and playing. The problem with Libyan gatherings is that I find many of the children that are about 10 years old or over are very rude and have no respect for anyone, one 12 year old boy whom I knew since birth stood next to me, I said salam to him to which he mumbled, I told him that he should make an effort to say salam properly since I am very well known to him, he looked at me then just walked off, many of the girls who I used to be involved in teaching at the old school do not say salam or anything and if i try to talk to them they just run away as if i was a stranger, and most of them I have known since birth, I am so glad that my kids do actually talk to everyone they know politely and respectfully, Alhamdulellah.
Of course many of these rude kids were doing nothing but fighting each other or getting in fights with local kids near the community centre, many of the parents didn't even bother to check what was going on, some would say let the boys learn how to defend themselves, what a stupid thing to say when in London kids stabbing kids is becoming more and more a normal crime.
I saw Libyan boys beating the hell out of each other on the street in the middle of the road where cars were driving, I saw Libyan kids playing with lighters, probably even smoking, I spent most of the time stressing over their behaviour while many dads were drinking coffee and having a good old Gurma (gossip), nothing new here, unfortunately the Libyan community is full of many ignorant people that just don't care about any ones feelings and yet if you dare mention that a certain boy was miss behaving then you risk getting into a fight with that parent instead of them actually admitting that their kids are very rude and that is exactly what happened, 2 fathers got into a fight because of their kids behaviour and nearly beat each other up.
Apart from that, the Iftar was nice and I enjoyed seeing some of my friends and the well behaved kids were a pleasure to see too.
I found the following website called with a virtual Quran in Arabic which you can read and even turn the pages over, I thought it was good and Worth sharing.


Maya said...

I'm really sorry for those kids.

It looks like the parents got no job
just bring the money for their spoiled kids
and making them do what they wont by being
a rude boys .
I heard about the stabbing crimes too .

glad that you find a well behaved kids there
Including your kids .

fe aman Allah

A.Adam said...

the same scenario of fighting every year again this year?? if I were you I'd stay at home and for my kids they will understand why later..

Anglo-Libyan said...

thanks Maya and I am sorry too for those kids, shame their fathers are not!

a.adam, if it was up to me, I would stay at home. I think i will take the kids until they are a bit older then decide, thank you :o)

Weldemdina said...

That’s a really typical attitude of most Libyan parents, they expect their children to be looked after by the street as they usually do when they were in Libya, either a naivety from them or just they don’t want to know. Children learn good manners and to be polite to others from their own homes, they don’t get that through their genes or from television, if the parents didn’t teach their children the way they behave and how to be polite with others and to be kind to the elder, then don’t expect any good from them.

I remember a friend of mine told me about some parents who are doing a university course, they used to go to their classes/ lectures while leaving their own children playing in the street of the university compound thinking that its safer than other streets, they actually breaking the law as these children’s are under age, but unfortunately they don’t relies that, despite their high education they still lack the basics of how to raise a good family.

When there is a gathering for children to meet like Iftar or Eid, all parents should share the responsibility of looking after these kids, not leaving them in their own devices doing what ever they like while the parents are busy gossiping!
Jazak allah for the Quran Link

Safia speaks said...

Salam and alhamdulillah you have raised your kids well - the final proof will be when they reach the bandit-age (teenage), then you´ll really see whether you´ve raised them well or not.

Just recently two Arab kids started a fight near the school I teach. Their mothers came down and went into the argument. They both called their husband; one of them brought a knife down to the street with him. Then the husbands called cousins, neighbours and friends. A few minutes later 100 people ended up fighting with sticks, knives, stones and bottles. In ramadan!

I don´t know if I should laugh or cry at such idiocy.

Thanx for the Quran link.

BTW, LadyCroc = Safia speaks - somehow I´ve suddenly lost the ability to post comments under my blog name?!

Safia speaks said...

Forget it, it worked!

dusk till dawn said...

salam anglo-
i do not realy know what to say, if it was a libyan gathering for aftar. u would think the soul of happiness will be flying and the kids have games to be involve wt and sharing in conversation,to see a young kids have no respect of older peoples.and wats worst that u do know most of them .its the signs of the society is cracking.
glad u did enjoy aftar and well done for bringing up ur kids in the right manner,hope sooner then later parents will see sense br its to late,

ibeebarbie said...

Salam Anglo-Libyan
WOW! That was an unbelievable event you and your kids experienced. Most unfortunate. You know, however, I don't know that I would specifically label it as a Libyan thing although it's probably perceived as such considering you were with other Libyans. However, I would say globally this is a problem when large groups of people gather that are not like minded in the thinking. Although perhaps surrounded by Arabs, or Libyans, or Muslims, or families there's still the the possibility of being with people that don't do, teach or believe the same thing we believe. For you, it's important that you raise your children with manners, respect as well as many other wonderful qualities, alhamdullilah. Also you shared there were other kids there that shared these same qualities as your kids which would indicate their parents shared the same set of values that you did/do. Unfortunately though when large groups gather there's a good chance we'll run into those that differentiate from ourselves. Nonetheless, it was unfortunate to have to witness such bad behaviors---makes me want to beat the parents. :-)

Benghazi Citizen said...

Apparently libyans has the same problems every were,sad to say....
THere is this lady who visits my mother occasionally,,well,,when my sister hear that she is coming,,she takes every thing that is fragile off the tables and cupboards..why?because her (nice) kids are out of control,,they would jump every where and push any thing,slam doors,sniffing around the fridge,,,and guess what?their mam just sitting their smiling and talking while every body else(including my self in my locked room)are going crazy...
Benghazi Citizen

Anglo-Libyan said...

salam weldemdina
thank you for the extra input and I wish all parents think like you do.

Yes Safia, I still have the teenage years to come :oS
wow that fight must have been really embrassing.

thanks dusk till dawn
unfortunately this behaviour is very familliar within our community.

salam ibeebarbie
I do understand that this behaviour is not exclussively Libyan but it seems to be the norm in most of our gatherings.
I did enjoy some of it and i would go again, yes some of the kids were really good and that does reflect on their parents.
oh I so want to slap some of the parents too :o)

salam Benghazi citizen
good to see you here again
you know my mother used to know people just like that lady & her kids you mentioned :o)

a_akak said...

I disagree with you

Boys will be boys and that is a fact and fighting each other is just a recreational things that we use to do (I am sure you have gone through the same), as for the streets, I think the streets do make us who we are and that has also been proven time and time again. I believe the parents job is just to give the children the foundation and then the children build the rest on there own ……….. I think being “over protective” can effect you child is negative ways and hinder their development into adulthood and I personally have experienced childhood here (in the UK) and in Libya and I see and know the difference and it is huge!!! Children in the UK are usually socially less aware than the children back in Libya and I also disagree with not letting your child experience the “streets” as one day they will have to face life on their own.

Now, I hate it when fathers/mothers get involved in children’s fights and I believe this show immaturity from the parents behalf and what I also don’t like is when parents get over protective and come and “hit” the child who just beat up their kid!!!!! (been in that situation a couple of times: P )

Oh yes, Thanks for the website is looks good masha allah

Fe aman Allah

Misratia said...

thanks for the link

Aisha said...

i read your post and i feel exactly what you feel. I HATE it when kids are acting up or sometimes messing up a place and the parents just sit and chat like everything is normal. Some kids in the community hate me, because when I see them acting dumb, I take it upon myself to bring out the teacher in me, and stare them down and tell them, they will not be doing this sort of bad behaviour again, or ELSE!!!!
It especially annoys me at Tarawee7 prayers!!!! Some mom's let their kids run loose wrecking the masjid, while being so khash3een in their salah, while me on the other hand become preoccupied with the kid's well being and safety and the well being of the masjid property.
I have sooo many stories like this, I'm not a parent yet, but InshaAllah my kids will be well behaved, and if they are not, I will be praying my tarawee7 at home. As one sister said the other night, to the mother of a screaming child (no joke...the kid was screaming through like 3/4 of a 7izb)..."taking care of your child is the best 3ebada"!

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